Op Ed - Hopski Best Entry Name Awards

Thanks again to Marc Powell (Make My Picks Great Again - Marc is the younger brother of the original Matt Powell that I went to IU with - Marc is also an IU alum and is living in Indianapolis along with his wife of about 6 months or so - basically they are in the "Honeymoon Period" AND "pre-kid" period or as most of us call it - "THE GOOD OLD DAYS") for the following Annual Hopski Entry Name Awards!!

It’s time for the highly coveted Hopski Entry Name Awards!  One man’s personal review and selection of the best names in various categories.  Often imitated, but never duplicated, let’s get the party started!

This year’s Entry Names have continued the same downward spiral of creativity that we’ve seen in recent years.  Apparently gone are the days of beautifully crafted double entendre names or names that end up as nominees in my favorite former category of “Entry Names that only make sense after Googling or checking Urban Dictionary”.   Even the risqué names are not what they used to be…  although there was one entry name that definitely as lewd as they come!

 

Speaking of a total lack of creativity… who’s the Nike genius that came up with the “Always Reppin’” slogan?  I’m sure someone was paid quite well to come up with that, but I think it was a total miss and they should be “you’re fired” in true Trump fashion!  I’m sure the slogan will be better next year when America is made great again!?!?

To begin this year’s Hopskis ceremony with our first Award, let’s continue the creativity theme by “celebrating” those of you who keep recycling previously used entry names!  C’mon man! 

This year’s “C’mon Man… get a different Entry Name” nominees are:

·       In Roy We Trust (Mark Iantosca)

·       Pet the Sweaty (Pat Paquette)

·       When I Think of You, I Touch Bill Self (Michael Hoss)

·       Joey Brackets (Joey Wagoner)

Joey Brackets gets a pass… didn’t he win last year?  You have to stick with the winning entry name out of pure superstition and for bragging rights!  It may finally be an Iantosca year in riding the UNC Tarheel train, but “In Roy We Trust” has been over played… c’mon man!  And after several years, I still have no idea what “Pet the Sweaty” means!   

And the first Hopski Award of 2016 goes to:

When I think of you, I Touch Bill Self (Michael Hoss)

I’d personally be happy if I never saw this entry name ever again, let alone multiple versions of it in the same pool year!  C’mon man! This Entry Name originated in the Hopski in 2014 by Matt Powell (the REAL Matt Powell), where it won a Hopski for Best Use of a Coach’s Name in an Entry! 

What’s in a Name?

So what constitutes a good Entry Name?  A little bit of creativity, coupled with something either timely (current events) or timeless (classic movie quotes)?  Self-deprecation about oneself or one’s favorite team?  A slam against your most hated Hoops rival, player or coach?  Maybe a well-constructed political jab? 

 

In analyzing ESPN bracket names from the past 5 years, some of the more common entry names include:

·       Full Metal Bracket

·       Cinderella Story

·       Frank the Tank

·       March Sadness

·       Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

·       Church of Bracketology

·       I Hate Christian Laettner

It is estimated that approximately 40 million Americans created an NCAA bracket this year.  According to ESPN, more than 75% of all bracket pickers leave their bracket name as their ESPN username. The current ESPN leaderboard has the following entries atop their overall standings:

·       LENNY_CUSE

·       Kevin moll

·       Orange Crush

·       Andrew_574222

·       Tony’s Bracket

·       Espn6404078

·       ChrisC9UNC

So I guess the Hopski group’s creativity maybe isn’t all that lame after all?  In fact, I guess we’re collectively well “above average”?  Then again, almost 1 in 5 Hopski Entry Names this year were related in some way to Donald Trump, so even to this “right wing” Conservative, that doesn’t bode well for any of us!  However, it seems that the desire to “win, win, win” must be infectious and has brought out the optimism in nearly 20% of the bracket names!  

Here are some of the better bracket names I’ve seen so far this year, just to get you thinking ahead to next year and the all of the great categories of Hopski Entry Name Awards on the line!  

·       The Louisville Escorts

·       This Whole Things a Bracket

·       Fast Breaking Bad

·       Definitely In My Izzone

·       Hoops, There it Is

Now back to more Awards and Making the Hopskis Great Again!  

 

In a new 2016 category of “Best use of ‘Trump’ in an Entry Name”, the nominees are:

·       Trump/Laettner 2016 – No Thanks (Matt Briesch)

·       Small Hands = Bad Hopski Picks (Brian Travers)

·       My hands are small but this bracket is HUUUUUUGGGE (Michael Hoss)

·       Make Hopski Great Again (Michael Fazio)

·       Big Hands, Big Bracket (Mary Beck)

·       You can’t spell Triumph without T-R-U-M-P (Joe Drozdowski)

·       I’ve got a huge Boehner for Donald Trump (Phil Purevich)

·       I’m going to win so much, I get bored with winning (Benjamin Whip)

·       Orange Man with Big Hands (Eric Gates)

There were about 25 more “Trumps” to choose from, but these were the best of the best.  The Trump/Laettner combo receives extra credit, but I promise you this, the winner I pick will be the greatest entry name this country has ever seen!  It’s going to be a HUGE name and so much better than all of those other stupid entry names.  And trust me, those other names are as ugly and stupid as Rosie!

And the Hopski for “Best use of “Trump” in an Entry Name” goes to:

My hands are small but this bracket is HUUUUUUGGGE (Michael Hoss)

 

I’ll resist my normal urge to spin up a political rant here… the whole election cycle already has me annoyed on many levels.  Suffice to say, it’s time to throw all the career politicians out… it’s become a totally corrupt machine on both sides!  Moving on…

The Nominees for “Best use of Politics & Current Events with a non-Trump Entry Name” are:

·       Mid-Major Lives Matter (Beth Paul)

·       ElChapoPennedmyBrackets (David Lowery)

·       Will Big Willy Get Monica to Intern Again? (Michael Doud)

·       Contested National Champion (Bryan Robson)

Heavy Trump turnout greatly narrowed this field of nominees, but some well-formed entries here for sure!

And the Hopski goes to:

Mid-Major Lives Matter (Beth Paul)

 

In this politically correct world, I’m sure Beth will be forced to apologize for her “discriminatory” name just as Democratic Presidential candidate Martin O’Malley had to apologize for having the audacity to say that “all lives matter”.   #AllLivesMatter

In the Open Category of “Best Entry Name related to NCAA Basketball”, the nominees are:

·       Pitino’s Pimp Hand (Michael Rupp)

·       Over/Under: Ben Simmon’s GPA vs. Perfect Bracket (William LeFever)

·       Let’s Go B1G! (Randy Scheuneman)

Pitino is too easy of a target.  We visited Ben Simmons’ classes to get his comment, but he of course was not in attendance. 

 

The Hopski goes to:

Let’s Go B1G! (Randy Scheuneman)

Even though I think the B1G Ten logo is ridiculous … and that there were better options for expansion than Rutgers… I like the homage here.  Too bad the B1G TEN flopped this year worse than Jeb!

While I’m typically opposed to any pool that rewards for last place or offers a “second chance” pool, the Nominees for the “Best Entry Name in the 2^nd Chance Dance” are:

 

·       Can Jeb! Get a second chance? (Brian Travers)

·       I’ve been waiting for this since game 1 (Michael Hoss)

·       Screwed by Sparty (Marc Beck)

·       Lewinsky’s 2^nd Shot in the West Wing (James Keeley)

·       And I totally redeemed myself! (Kyle Lodder)

Some good’uns here that could’ve spanned several categories, but second chance names only get one chance at a Hopski Award.  Much like the GOP primaries, “Can Jeb!” didn’t get many votes. Lewinsky’s “2^nd Shot” is brilliant… although, wouldn’t Bubba be the one that actually getting the “Shot”?  Many entries were screwed by the early Sparty exit.  And I love the optimism of “I’ve been waiting”… thanks for your donation to this year’s pool!   

But the Hopski for best 2^nd Chance Dance goes to:

And I totally redeemed myself! (Kyle Lodder)

I admittedly give huge bonus points for movie/TV entertainment-themed names, but the The Dumb & Dumber play here is outstanding from a 2^nd chance perspective!  Golf clap Kyle!!  Well played sir! 

Speaking of Movies, the Nominees for “Best use of a Movie/TV in an Entry Name” are:

 

·       Cadwallader University (Tom Wojt)

·       FU2016 and God Bless America (Pat Libby)

·       Luebbert Loves Lamp (Jeff Luebbert)

·       Straight Outta Bloomington (Mark Hopper)

·       Frank the Tank (Matt Clifford)

·       Dancing with the Devil in the pale moonlight (Keir Novesky)

·       Well, the squirrels are back in the attic. (Matt Powell)

 

This category is stacked more than the East bracket! Wojt goes way back n the time machine to 1979 with the Cadwallader callout.  And “loves lamp” is classic Anchorman.  “Frank the Tank” is also a classic, but too simple to be the winner.  Nice B’town shout out by the Hopski with Straight Outta Bloomington.  Matt Powell continued his streak of randomly pulling a name from whatever commercial is on at the time he’s making his picks. 

But the coveted Hopski Award goes to:

FU2016 and God Bless America (Pat Libby)

 

 Yes, that’s Frank Underwood and House of Cards… The most recent season is next up in my Netflix queue for binge watching… Great show!

 The final Hopski of the night goes to the “Funniest/Most Creative Entry Name”, which is analogous to “Best Picture” or “Best in Breed”.  And the Nominees are:

 

·       Made Mexico Pay for My Bracket (Rob Beck)

·       HOP SKIp and a DUNK (Jeff Williams)

·       Mid-Major Lives Matter (Beth Paul)

·       Next year, my entry name will kick as$ (Mark Conlon)

·       Beilein if I said I thought Michigan makes Tourney (Matt Whip)

·       You Rank ‘Em, We Spank ‘Em (Maddy Beck)

Very nice play on words by Jeff Williams.  And the irony in the Mark Conlon’s “Next year…” entry is funny!  With one Hopski already tonight, “Mid-Major” returns as the first double nominee! 

And the Hopski Award goes to:

 Made Mexico Pay for My Bracket (Rob Beck)

Viva la Mexico! You just can’t beat a good politically charged entry name!  I’m not really sure how Mexico would be forced to pay for the wall, when they barely have enough money to cover Rob’s $25 entry fee!  

 

Video Daily Double

Last year’s video highlight category featured the “best dancing at a hoops game”, which included the Detroit Piston Dance Cam with the kid I never get tired of watching when I need a good laugh! 

ClickHere

This year’s NCAA March Madness commercials featuring Charles Barkley have been absolutely hilarious, as in, “man, that’s so not turrrrible”, with my favorite seeing Charles singing the March Madness Anthem of “One Shining Moment”:

 

 

ClickHere

 

Lastly, if you know Mark Hopper, then maybe you already know “what’s wrong with him”, but I stumbled upon someone who has written a book on “The Trouble with Mark Hopper”.  I don’t think it’s a best seller, but it does have lots of pictures, so it’s well suited for the King of the Hopski!

http://www.amazon.com/The-Trouble-With-Mark-Hopper/dp/B005MWQMN0

 

This concludes the 2016 Hopski Awards!  Even though the number of quality Entry Names in this year’s pool is almost as low as the number of qualified US Presidential candidates, I say, “Keep on Reppin’”!  After all, if a community organizer can become President, then there’s certainly hope that you too could someday win a Hopski.

So until March 2017, if you can improve on your Entry Name creativity, then this rundown will be much more fun and you’ll have made life a little bit sunnier for everybody else… especially when we’re all busy “Making America Great Again”!!!  Next year is gonna be HUUUUGGE, I promise you that! Until then, the “I Hate Laettner’s” wish you the best of luck!

Keep on Reppin’,

MP